Babies

My arms are missing a child. My third child is with The Lord. Not a single day goes by that I don't think of how my life would be if I were to have had that one here with me and not our Penelope. Being a mama changed my life forever. The quote that I'm forever reminded of is "when a child is born so is the mother" the weight of that statement is something  that couldn't be more true or more powerful in my life.

My girls here are healthy, beautiful and thriving daily. As a family we do amazing things together and my world is painted with their laughter, smiles, hugs and even whines and tears. My world revolves around them and makes me a better version of myself everyday by having this role as their mom.

Last night I found out about acquaintances that are now starting the process of chemotherapy for their 2 year old. The fact that I even typed that last sentence out breaks my heart and brings years to my eyes almost immediately. I can feel the words popping up in my head saying "why Lord?" Feelings of anger and frustration. The same feelings I have felt before and almost at the same time begin to hear The Lord speak. "I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born" Isaiah 66:9 this verse is something that rocks my world and brings things into perspective for me daily. I mean that. I fail him daily and he continues to bless me.why?! Because he loves me! Because he uses situations to show us and the world how he works. We don't always know at the time how God can use a situation or what other person our life and story can be affecting someone else and their walk. 

I cried in my husbands arms last night and prayed for this family and for ours. That they would stand strong in this journey and that Gods mighty healing hand would bring comfort to this baby and his wonderful family. I also prayed for ours that in the midst of living that we always remember how blessed we are. That how no matter how hard it is sometimes in this world to be content with what we have that we have something so much more. We have a hope in our God that he is in control in our lives. That he has blessed us far more than we deserve not only for by his death on the cross so we might live. But, for the lives we live here on earth so he may shine through us. 

Gods daily reminders of his love and grace cling to me even as I write and they are in the forms of my girls which God has entrusted to Mike and Myself. By walking with him and showing them Gods love and guidance as he has shown us by loving us. To be patient with them when they are driving us crazy and to love them like Jesus loves us. 

Mahalo, 

Adina