Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Its wednesday night and I weigh in tomorrow morning! This eve can bring on so many feelings as the pending weigh in looms over the remaining hours till my feet hit the scale! On this night though IM SOOOO excited to weigh in which I love by itself. The fact that I am excited means so many things to me. This week has been awesome I found myself at the beginning getting a little relaxed because of my great loss last week. So I then re pumped up and took the reigns even stronger to hopefully have a repeat of last weeks great number. I also experienced the great "runners high" me?! really?! I have always heard of it but couldn't quite grasp the concept until monday morning! It was phenomenal!!! I took it all in and told myself after I wiped the tears" never ever forget how amazing this feels!" I really truly felt like I could do anything and I also told myself this feeling is only gonna increase and get stronger as the time goes by and I get stronger and more in tune with the way my body reacts to the exercise.Crossing my fingers and knowing that I WORKED it this week only gives me confidence to keep going, harder and stronger!

What a difference a year makes!

So, here I am a year later from my last post somethings have changed and some things havent. The biggest thing that has changed is that about 20 days from the last post I found out I was pregnant with our little pineapple Penelope.
I now am the mommy of 2 beautiful girls that run my life. I am also still on the quest that is going to fulfill my life personal and career wise. I went to Fullerton college today to petition for Readmission to school because of the failure that was my into to business final,lol. I was about 3 days post par tum with Greenlee and had to report on campus for a final...not so exciting.
I went to campus today with a new sense of confidence and 2 babies, that alone was funny, and turned in my papers and already heard back from school today that I was readmitted. Praise God.
I have completely put this in the Lords hands and I am not going to try to take it back from him. I have started on this path and am already seeing God do a tremendous work in me both physically and spiritually. I have a feeling he is really molding me into what I need to be to take on this next chapter of my life which will be filled with excitement, temptation and some turmoil. Its amazing how God can work in all situations and facets of our lives when we let him be the leader and ruler of it.

One Word: Athlete

Its funny because most of my life I have always heard those questions posed..."describe your self in one word" or even a couple..ya know those questions? Well, In all my times answering those I am MOST certain that the word(s) I used to describe myself was never,Athlete! ha ha it makes me laugh just thinking of it.
I have been run/walking the last 2 weeks consistently, which is an accomplishment in it of itself.
I also bought a new pair of running shoes today at the Nike factory store and am so excited to become this character trait that I have never been. I find myself wanting to spend all my time lately working out! what!?! Did I seriously just say that,lol! I cant believe ethier! I am so excited to start and finish this exciting goal.
I have set my eyes on the Long Beach half marathon coming up here towards the end of the year! I cant wait to see how my mind, body and soul will be transformed. I have already lost 8 lbs in a couple of weeks following weight watchers and am really enjoying this new persona I am taking on!

Fulfilled

Lately my life has panned out in ways I never knew. I never thought I would stand at a point where I questioned all I do, why I do it and how I live my life. Up until now I always had an amazing grasp on life, lets be serious, I grabbed life by the horns and I made it happen. Today, things are not the same, the confidence which I once knew,loved, cherished has know turned to why have done this or that and do I like the outcome and where will these decisions take me. where did this stuff come from?!? I knew that becoming a mom would change my life, my existence my well-being. But that's why I did it, It changed it for the best and I am glad in some respect now that I am challenging myself and I am wanting to know how I got here and where will I go now.
I came to a realization that that same confidence that drove me to success is also the one to blame, Did I work as hard as I could to get there and achieve greatness? Or was it mearly the way it developed bc of my confidence. I want to feel like I really went to hell and back to achieve the success, to strive for something and make it happen.
The question was posed the other day what is it in life that makes me feel fulfilled? Instantly I can think of 2 ,my child and my husband. But those things don't define me they show my strengths in great detail but to me I need that extra edge to me to feel fulfilled.
This year is going to mark a change in my life a change in mindset, priorities and achieving impossible greatness in my eyes and no one Else's.